Saturday, May 31, 2014

#35 - Awaken.

I was breaking down really badly yesterday, for the entire day. And the more I did, the more I felt like I will never go through this. Until I received a message from someone from the past. People around me are probably thankful for this person because this is the most hurting yet the most truthful message ever that no one else would say to me.

"The only one that's contented is you. It's hard to explain but you tend to unknowingly turn a blind eye about other people's pain and imagine them to be what you expect. You're making yourself look pathetic. You are nowhere near weak. So move on no matter how hard it is. You can't stay in the past no matter how much you want to. The past is the past."
"Maybe someday, you'll smile genuinely without the help of others but with your own capability."

It's true.
A little about myself.
I have very high expectations for everyone around me. I just want everything to go my way. That's the reason why I get upset at everything really really easily. I tend to make everything that's already bad to begin with, even worse because I overthink about all the minor details. And I'm quite prone to self-destruction when it comes to people that stands a significant place in my heart.

I'm a really pessimistic person. And I'm envious of the optimistic ones. They're all cheerful, bubbly and everything that people would love to see in a person. The kind that will brighten up everyone's day. And I wish I could share the same mindset as them. I don't want to get upset all the time..
I'm trying to do more things that makes me happy and think towards the positive side at the negative things that's occurring to me. Hopefully this helps a little! :D
(anyw, i had icecream on a colourful icecream cone today hehe)

I never like apologising or admitting my mistakes. No actually, I don't think I'm wrong at all, since young I'm like that.
But now I'm doing it because I finally know my mistakes.

A little cute quote I saw online......

"You haven't lost your smile. It's right under your nose. You just forgot it was there."


 xx 


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