Friday, July 25, 2014

#43 | First week of school.

Friday. This week passed by so fast. They say time pass really fast when you're enjoying right? I don't know if I'm enjoying but I definitely prefer what I'm doing now. I'm still able to concentrate and not get distracted that easily in class, and hopefully I'll remain like this till I graduate from NAFA. I'm glad I'm getting along pretty well with my classmates. I mean the few I always stick to in class... Yeah, I'm glad I have them or else I'm gonna be loner cause I hardly initiate a conversation with strangers..

But then again....

I've been thinking about it. Why do I not like strangers to this extent? Is it because of my low self-esteem? Or is it just because that's me. And still, I can't find an answer. He said I am probably affected by the imaginary audience around me. And I thought he came up with that term himself until I went to search about it.

"The imaginary audience refers to an egocentric state where an individual imagines and believes that multitudes of people are enthusiastically listening to or watching him or her. Though this state is often exhibited in young adolescence, people of any age may harbor a fantasy of an imaginary audience.

David Elkind coined the term "imaginary audience" in 1967. The basic premise of the topic is that people who are experiencing it feel as though their behavior or actions are the main focus of other people's attention. It is defined as how willing a child is to reveal alternative forms of themselves. The imaginary audience is a psychological concept common to the adolescent stage of human development. It refers to the belief that a person is under constant, close observation by peers, family, and strangers. This imaginary audience is proposed to account for a variety of adolescent behaviors and experiences, such as heightened self-consciousness, distortions of others' views of the self, and a tendency toward conformity and faddisms. This act stems from the concept of ego-centrism in adolescents.

Examples of imaginary audience: A teen that is affected by imaginary audience might be self-conscious and may worry about what other people think of them. They may change their clothes constantly before leaving the house to make sure they are presentable for everybody that is watching them. They may also spend extra time on make-up and hair to better appeal to the audience they feel they need to impress. A teen may also change their wardrobe to match “trends” that start. They may also believe that they are better than everyone else and everyone is constantly looking at them and judging, feeling the need to look “perfect”. A teen who has a pimple on their face will think that everyone will notice and that it is covering half of their face. (This is one very common example of Imaginary audience.) In reality, only a small percentage of those people have any interest in a person’s activities, and a maturing worldview will usually reduce the impression that this imaginary audience exists. Some people, however, maintain this misapprehension well into their adult years."

Source: wiki

Don't really think everyone adores me, in fact it's the opposite, I think everyone secretly hates me. I guess only the part about self-consciousness and worry about what other people think.

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